A question or two . . .
Here are a few burning questions that I have been pondering lately . . .
Does anyone actually subscribe to the services in those annoying commercials offering ringtones and cell phone backgrounds? Is it really worth $3.99 a month to have a picture of rims as your cell phone wallpaper or to have your Trillville ringer go off in the middle of a class? I’d like to think it isn’t.
What’s uglier, Rodney Dangerfield’s golf swing in Caddyshack, Nuke LaLoosh’s (Tim Robbin’s) pitching delivery in Bull Durham or Jared Leto’s post-beating face in Fight Club? I’m leaning towards Keanu Reeves’ performance in The Replacements, but I’m willing to entertain arguments.
What do you suppose Scoonie Penn is doing right now? And what about Penn of Penn and Teller? Most importantly, what is Mike Penn doing with his life at this point? Nothing good I’d venture. I’m seriously starting to question whether the Penn is in fact mightier than the sword.
When will the first initial/first syllable of the last name nickname become so passé that it stops being used? I’m hoping soon. I can think of ARod, KRod, IRod, CWebb, JWill and AMarsh right of the top of my head, and I’m sure there are a handful more out there. The jury is still out on whether we can add CMurder to that list. After all, I doubt his last name is actually Murder, but he is in prison for that exact offense, so we’ll just have to weigh our options. I’ll just say this: give me Pistol Pete, Hot Rod Williams, Wimp Sanderson, Bum Phillips, PacMan Jones and SweetPea Whitaker over KMart any day of the week.
Is Steven Seagal as indestructible in real life as he is in his movies? If so, who would win in a rooftop karate grudge match between him and Chuck Norris? And is it even possible for those two to be in the same frame without the film spontaneously combusting? These are the things keeping me up at night.
If Roy Williams is in fact the NCAA version of Sisyphus, is anyone else hoping that the boulder runs him over again this year? Count me in.
Did you know that Dennis Haskins grew a mustache after Saved by the Bell’s run came to an end to avoid being typecast into Mr. Belding-esque roles for the rest of his career? What kind of career he was expecting to have after the show is beyond me, but I respect his tactics nonetheless.
Have you heard the following songs: Straylight Run – Existentialism on Prom Night, Jimmy Eat World – Night Drive, Bright Eyes – The First Day of My Life, Snow Patrol – Grazed Knees, Frou Frou – Let Go, The Shins – Caring is Creepy? I’d imagine you have since none of them are that new or obscure. If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend them. They all have a very relaxed, eerie beauty to them.
In the new McDonald’s McGriddles commercial, a very important question is raised. Is the girl in the commercial trying to get the guy to like her or is she just trying to eat his breakfast? I don’t know jack about girls and (surprise, surprise) I can’t read her signals. Why are these things so complicated?
Many of these questions may never be answered, but it never hurts to ponder them.
On to bigger and better things . . .
If I wanted to hear a neverending string of clichés rattled off by a one-trick pony commentator in a faux scream, I would just tune in to watch Dick Vitale during March Madness. If I wanted to hear the bitter rumblings of a grudge-holding curmudgeon, I’d make sure not to miss a Billy Packer broadcast. If I wanted to hear every second of the tournament described as having, “an atmosphere that is absolutely electric” or “”dripping with emotion that is downright palpable,” it would be a toss-up between listening to Jim Nantz and Gus Johnson. With their proclivity to give enthusiastic accounts of even commonplace events, they could make even my daily walks to class sound riveting.
On the other hand, if I wanted to get an insightful yet unique perspective, I’d have to look no further than Bill Raftery. He’s my boy.
As a side note, whoever signed Dick Vitale to appear not only on ACC broadcasts and SportsCenter but also on Pontiac, DiGiorno and Hooters commercials needs to die. Now. I cannot stress this strongly enough.
Just to pay the bills . . .
If one could get paid for playing video games by day and watching romantic comedies by night, my roommate Miller would be rich, bitch. He’d have enough money to feed Latrell Sprewell’s family, finance the Shawn Kemp Paternity Suit Defense Fund and pay Darius Rucker to serenade him during every meal. On second thought, it seems that anyone with $3.99 or a Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch could hire DRuck’s singing services.
On a related note, I thought it was established in the mid-90s that Darius Rucker is not Hootie. Much like Steely Dan and Jethro Tull are not the names of actual people but of bands as a whole, Hootie is just part of a band name. Even though I thought everyone was aware of this, I think this somewhat important fact has been forgotten. Roy Jones Jr. said it best and repeated it countless times in his rap song: “Y’all musta forgot!”
Just so you know . . .
I’ve been to prom three times (twice after I graduated from high school) and have behaved like an ass on 66.6 percent of these occasions (rounded down). It’s also sad that my post-graduate prom work was my worst.
I'm just saying . . .
I'm a little concerned that my buddy Goff and Luke Perry's character from 90210 have similar catch phrases. I find this very telling, but you be the judge . . .
"May the bridges I burn light the way."--Dylan McKay
"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it."--Erik Goff
Eerie. That's it for me.
Does anyone actually subscribe to the services in those annoying commercials offering ringtones and cell phone backgrounds? Is it really worth $3.99 a month to have a picture of rims as your cell phone wallpaper or to have your Trillville ringer go off in the middle of a class? I’d like to think it isn’t.
What’s uglier, Rodney Dangerfield’s golf swing in Caddyshack, Nuke LaLoosh’s (Tim Robbin’s) pitching delivery in Bull Durham or Jared Leto’s post-beating face in Fight Club? I’m leaning towards Keanu Reeves’ performance in The Replacements, but I’m willing to entertain arguments.
What do you suppose Scoonie Penn is doing right now? And what about Penn of Penn and Teller? Most importantly, what is Mike Penn doing with his life at this point? Nothing good I’d venture. I’m seriously starting to question whether the Penn is in fact mightier than the sword.
When will the first initial/first syllable of the last name nickname become so passé that it stops being used? I’m hoping soon. I can think of ARod, KRod, IRod, CWebb, JWill and AMarsh right of the top of my head, and I’m sure there are a handful more out there. The jury is still out on whether we can add CMurder to that list. After all, I doubt his last name is actually Murder, but he is in prison for that exact offense, so we’ll just have to weigh our options. I’ll just say this: give me Pistol Pete, Hot Rod Williams, Wimp Sanderson, Bum Phillips, PacMan Jones and SweetPea Whitaker over KMart any day of the week.
Is Steven Seagal as indestructible in real life as he is in his movies? If so, who would win in a rooftop karate grudge match between him and Chuck Norris? And is it even possible for those two to be in the same frame without the film spontaneously combusting? These are the things keeping me up at night.
If Roy Williams is in fact the NCAA version of Sisyphus, is anyone else hoping that the boulder runs him over again this year? Count me in.
Did you know that Dennis Haskins grew a mustache after Saved by the Bell’s run came to an end to avoid being typecast into Mr. Belding-esque roles for the rest of his career? What kind of career he was expecting to have after the show is beyond me, but I respect his tactics nonetheless.
Have you heard the following songs: Straylight Run – Existentialism on Prom Night, Jimmy Eat World – Night Drive, Bright Eyes – The First Day of My Life, Snow Patrol – Grazed Knees, Frou Frou – Let Go, The Shins – Caring is Creepy? I’d imagine you have since none of them are that new or obscure. If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend them. They all have a very relaxed, eerie beauty to them.
In the new McDonald’s McGriddles commercial, a very important question is raised. Is the girl in the commercial trying to get the guy to like her or is she just trying to eat his breakfast? I don’t know jack about girls and (surprise, surprise) I can’t read her signals. Why are these things so complicated?
Many of these questions may never be answered, but it never hurts to ponder them.
On to bigger and better things . . .
If I wanted to hear a neverending string of clichés rattled off by a one-trick pony commentator in a faux scream, I would just tune in to watch Dick Vitale during March Madness. If I wanted to hear the bitter rumblings of a grudge-holding curmudgeon, I’d make sure not to miss a Billy Packer broadcast. If I wanted to hear every second of the tournament described as having, “an atmosphere that is absolutely electric” or “”dripping with emotion that is downright palpable,” it would be a toss-up between listening to Jim Nantz and Gus Johnson. With their proclivity to give enthusiastic accounts of even commonplace events, they could make even my daily walks to class sound riveting.
On the other hand, if I wanted to get an insightful yet unique perspective, I’d have to look no further than Bill Raftery. He’s my boy.
As a side note, whoever signed Dick Vitale to appear not only on ACC broadcasts and SportsCenter but also on Pontiac, DiGiorno and Hooters commercials needs to die. Now. I cannot stress this strongly enough.
Just to pay the bills . . .
If one could get paid for playing video games by day and watching romantic comedies by night, my roommate Miller would be rich, bitch. He’d have enough money to feed Latrell Sprewell’s family, finance the Shawn Kemp Paternity Suit Defense Fund and pay Darius Rucker to serenade him during every meal. On second thought, it seems that anyone with $3.99 or a Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch could hire DRuck’s singing services.
On a related note, I thought it was established in the mid-90s that Darius Rucker is not Hootie. Much like Steely Dan and Jethro Tull are not the names of actual people but of bands as a whole, Hootie is just part of a band name. Even though I thought everyone was aware of this, I think this somewhat important fact has been forgotten. Roy Jones Jr. said it best and repeated it countless times in his rap song: “Y’all musta forgot!”
Just so you know . . .
I’ve been to prom three times (twice after I graduated from high school) and have behaved like an ass on 66.6 percent of these occasions (rounded down). It’s also sad that my post-graduate prom work was my worst.
I'm just saying . . .
I'm a little concerned that my buddy Goff and Luke Perry's character from 90210 have similar catch phrases. I find this very telling, but you be the judge . . .
"May the bridges I burn light the way."--Dylan McKay
"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it."--Erik Goff
Eerie. That's it for me.
posted by Andy Marshall at 7:37 PM
2 Comments:
I enjoyed reading all the a beginner guide to aikido information on your site. You can check out my a beginner guide to aikido site if you like.
Check out this interesting article about stephen seagal
Post a Comment
<< Home